After Harp was born, actually before she was even here, Deleting the Adjectives became a space for me to speak honestly about pregnancy, motherhood and what being a person really feels like after becoming a mom. Not in a I didn’t know I was pregnant way, but in a she wasn’t exactly planned way. As I was in the process of growing her, I looked to the internet for a community of moms who I felt connected to because I was the first of my friends to have a kid and I felt so alone in this bubble. I thought that I would find other women, especially young women who felt as confused and conflicted as I did but…I didn’t. Most women seemed so thrilled by the idea of being stay at home moms and seemed to revel in all the things about parenting that terrified me. What I was finding was very Stepford Moms. I felt awful. I felt like I was already a bad mom and my kid hadn’t even spent 24 hours on the outside.
Over the past nearly five years I’ve learned there is a distinct need for honest narratives about parenthood that are not so cloying and willing to present the challenges of parenting as hardships to be welcomed wholeheartedly. I love my kid but that doesn’t mean I love ever single minute of every day.
One of the resources that helped me realize I am normal and not the worst mom in the world is a podcast called The Longest Shortest Time. It’s basically a podcast that interviews parents who had some sort of surprising struggle in early parenthood. Medical, emotional, situational. Adoption, surrogacy, biological kids. You name it, they talk about it. It’s so refreshing to hear people talking honestly about the difficulties of being entirely responsible for someone else’s life while remaining these human people who are so desperately in love with their kids. If you haven’t listened, check it out and let me know what you think. I listen via the Podcast Addict app but you can check it out on their website (linked above) or on iTunes. For listeners, do you have a favorite episode to recommend? If you check it out please come back and let me know what you think.